The Kinsella Dream Scenario

(a late-night thought experiment)

Imagine, for a second, the following concatenation of events:

1. A robust CPC minority victory - say 140 CPC to 75 Libs to 60 BQ to 35 NDP.

2. An impressively moderate opening display by Harper in the Spring sitting, highlighted by (a) the passing of extremely popular Accountability measures with all parties save the Liberals and (b) a February budget sprinkled with a few NDP pet programs and amenable to the provincially-oriented Bloc.

3. A Liberal party in increasing disarray, unsure of what to make of the CPC agenda and whether Paul Martin should/will stay or go. Rumours abound as would-be contenders organize throughout the summer BBQ circuit, culminating in a late Summer/early Fall press conference called by Martin finally announcing his retirement.

4. The CPC, eager to capitalize on the Liberal turmoil and having exhausted their willingness to cooperate/compromise with other opposition parties, find a way to engineer their own defeat. Harper does so in hopes of winning the extra 15 or so seats required to form a majority. Layton and Duceppe go along in hopes of burying the Liberals.

5. Martin has resigned and the now official leadership race is well underway. No Liberals in high places fancy a third running of the "Choose Your Canada" campaign with Martin and his organizers at the helm. And Martin, tired and disillusioned and not wanting to risk further embarrassment, resists the lukeworm calls to emulate Trudeau after the fall of Joe Clark's government in 1979.

6. But neither can Liberals agree on who should be annoited the standard bearer for the second election of 2006. Organizing a leadership convention on such notice is out of the question, and fervently opposed by the many underdog candidates who oppose the acclamation of a young Frank McKenna.

7. Enterprising Liberals note that the Liberal Constitution, in provision 17(3), allows that: "Forthwith upon the death or resignation of the Leader, the National Executive in consultation with the national caucus shall appoint an interim Leader of the Party." There are concerns over simply selecting someone within the caucus to head a national election.

8. Calls get made. Apparently, word gets leaked that there is a former Liberal leader out there with experience at the helm of many federal campaigns and has the stomach for one more election. He agrees to resign the post within 6 months of the election date, in time for the Convention. The Maritinites on the National Executive, seeing no other reasonable alternative, agree to his appointment.

9. AND SO - channelling Trudeau, out of retirement for one last dance rides the feisty street-fighting Jean Chretien. With the Gomery allegations a distant memory and the new Accountability and Democratic Reform measures in place, the Canadian public is again reminded of the prosperity of the Liberal years. Harper's media honeymoon ends and he grows increasingly impatient and angry at the forgiveness shown to the former PM.

10. Welcome to 2007, says Chretien, who goes down in history as the improbable redeemer of the Liberal party of Canada. I know this is all crazy, idle science fiction, of course. Just having a laugh late Sunday night.

But you never can tell, and just when you think you've seen it all, you watch that Steelers victory over the Colts this afternoon? No one can say we don't live in interesting times.