Thursday, May 19, 2005

Across The Street From The Grewals

The Grits. Taking targeted voting to the next level.


Anonymous Blair N. Stransky said...

This just in….

Apparently, Carolyn Parrish has appendicitis. Of all the days. Of all the bloody days.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Blair N. Stransky said...


Sorry I don’t have Tim’s address.

Hope you liked my breaking news this morning. Fresh off the blackberry care of D.F.

Also heard on the news this morning that the tickets for the galleries tonight are the hottest thing in town (who would have thought?!?!). Thanks to P.K., we’ve got front row seats, staring directly across at the Prime Minister and our three hot independents.

Re: Carolyn Parrish – perhaps this is just an upset stomach. I mean, if Jim Karygiannis can have a heart attack – heart burn experience, and he’s not even an independent MP requiring more of the spotlight than Cadman or Kilgour (honestly, she must have been getting “sick” with the so little coverage she’s been given, let alone the fact that her vote’s been taken for granted) than who knows?!?!

On another note, has anyone seen the front page of the Globe? Poor Peter. Poor, poor Peter. Brought tears to my eyes. Reminded me of a poem:

O’ what a tangled web he weaved,
When first he practiced to deceive,
But now that he’s been around for a while,
Holy hell, look at this guy’s style!

Talk about playing the wounded heart for all it’s worth. And to show that I’m not a cold-blooded bastard, I will say for the record that I feel for anyone who gets dumped by his girlfriend. But warm bloodedness aside, seeing him talk about it on national television pretty much annuls my sympathy. I’ll be interested in seeing how it plays out for him. Perhaps the following could be some of his election campaign slogans:

“Vote for me – cause I’m a big fat loser.”

“Vote for Peter – he knows how it feels to be dumped.”

“Peter MacKay – a man who knows how to take advantage of any situation.”

“Vote MacKay – he knows how to screw you over and get screwed right back.”

“Thought you’d vote Green? Think Again. This guy tills entire fields with his own bare hands (but only when he’s mopey).”

“Look at my big rubber boots – I’m Peter MacKay!”

“I suck, you suck, we all suck together!”

(In his quiet, quiet, broken voice.) “I’m Peter MacKay, and when I’m sad, I’ve got the quietest voice in the world.”

“Bruised, but not broken. Vote MacKay.”

“If you want a state where Stephen Harper can comment on the goings on in my bedroom, Vote MacKay.”

“Don’t think we’ve got compassion. Just look at our deputy leader!”

“Vote MacKay. The one and only bleeding heart Tory.”

10:02 AM  

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