Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Fight Club

Your assignment: pick a fight with a stranger and lose.

So inevitably, it happened.

Ask enough guys to wail on your face when you are drunk over the years, act as I am wont to do around eejits that I obviously hate, and inevitably, finally, it will happen.

So MacDuff returns to Halifax. On opening night, after majestic beginnings at 4:30PM at the Lower Deck where I walk into a sturring rendition of "Farewell to NS" for the cruise shippers, we sit out on the glorious patio for ages and Keith pitchers galore, then to move inside to listen to McGuinty, and I unsurprisingly outlast all others who would party with me, closing the place with randoms from Yarmouth.

Cue the walk home. A happy meander along the waterfront, broken up sadly by a terrible guy holding his supposed girlfriend by the throat and otherwise acting like a preening fool. Enter your hero, with his favorite line - you want to hit somebody, hit me tough guy. Go ahead.

My arms are behind my back and I am goading the lad. After a good 7 hour session. At no point do I think he might actually hit me - they never do - until the fist hits (and ultimately breaks) my nose. Picture a fight between Gandhi and Rocky Balboa and you have an idea about how it went down... Passed my first night in the old city at QEII emergency room [blood pressure perfect, tetanus shot delivered], and am told to expect two black eyes by day one at the firm next Monday. Excellent service, though the wait time of 8 hours did verge on the annoying.

Honestly, can life get any more hilarious?


Anonymous Blair said...

MacDuff - it's come. If only I was there. We could have taken him and then retold the tale many times.

Glad to hear it's only a couple of black eyes and a broken nose than a knifewound or broken ribs.

Whatever happened to the guy? More importantly, whatever happened to the girl?

5:53 PM  
Anonymous Ian Scott said...

With a name like MacDuff, surely you know not to keep your arms behind you!

Fists up, lad, keep your chin tucked in, and watch out for that Glasgow Kiss.

11:58 PM  
Blogger The Tiger said...

What a way to start your legal career!

Wow. H'm... maybe there's a problem with the idea that a gentleman should let his opponent have the first shot...

8:55 AM  
Blogger Jason Cherniak said...

That stinks. I hope the girl went the E-room with you.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Lewis Mumford said...

That a boy James. Don't take any shit.


10:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


The people's hero, coming to the aid of a damsel in distress.

Get your ass back over to the UK. We could do with you sorting out a few bombers while you're at it..

10:37 AM  
Blogger James MacDuff said...

If only I looked like F. Lampard, I'd be there in a heartbeat... Loved you/her from the beginning.

But up Liverpool, as they should take down the Gunners. A tenner (of the Queen's pounds) it is, Gartner. And otherwise all is well, MRoss and JCuming and JHersh and I partying together again tonight in Wolfville this time at the Library. The Lower Deck awaits the return of ravishing anonymous.

Or perhaps I am mistaken as to that secret identity... No matter. You guys are more than enough for the stupidity of the bombers.

1:48 AM  

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